Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Saddlebacking for Jebus

I was recently introduced (not physically, via radio, you sickos) to a new practice among young Christian women who have taken a vow of chastity, saddle backing.  Named for the famous Saddle Back Christian Church, the practice for these girls who are saving themselves for marriage is to instead of just getting it on like the rest of us did they participate in anal sex as an alternative.
That's right you heard me, they take it in the ass to save themselves for marriage.  Wow, now here is a new view of how to save your chastity, on your knees, bitch.  Of course the biggest differences seen so far as a result of these practices are that the fateful stains are further back on the couch cushions, and they seem to be a lot less your girls audibly farting in church.
Of course I then have to start thinking (and we all know that my mind goes where it wills, when it wills, and often against my wills), and I suddenly have a break through.  Gay men are just saving themselves for marriage.  You see, they have been participating in saddle backing all along, trying their darnedest to save themselves for marriage, should it ever become legal.  And now that all of these young girls have laid down the precedent that anal sex is A-OK, I think it is time that we quit with our damnation of them and welcome them into the fold.
I mean really, is it really that bad of a practice if its fine for unmarried Christian girls to do?  Taking one in the kiester for God, why do we have to be such bigots about who is on the recieving end.  Hell, the Catholic church approved it for altar boys long ago.
Alas, I am sure that there are people oput there who will disagree with my interpretation of these events, but to them all I hvae to say is, don't knock it until you try it.  And after all, no one is going to be having any little ass babies, see!  Its safe after all.  Saddle Back Christian Church approived, all the way!
Although if you just want a blow job, I am not sure what the official standing on that is, although once again, the Catholic church approved it for altar boys years ago.

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