Wednesday, October 14, 2015

XsynfulX - Introduction

I'm never sure what to make of the world which surrounds me.

At times, I feel that this is one grand designed and orchestrated chaos, and from my perspective, I'm unable to see anything more than a part of a part of the most minuscule parts of the most biggest picture, with every strange occurrence which happens to me on a nearly daily basis. I'd like to identify with Atheism, because I think none of the religions happen to have it down correctly, but the further I stumble down my path in life, I seem to have dozens of 'near misses' (an oxymoron, for sure) on a daily basis.

Let's say that my life is more than unique.

At the age of 4, I began asking some of the most detrimental questions to my existence...

"Why?...  But...  Why?"

This leads to that, because of them and it wasn't because of this. If you have an effect, than it has a cause, and every effect has new causes. Cause and effect, effect has cause. Causality doesn't need to have correlation, and correlation doesn't lead to causality.

When I started to think about what I was told, in having to do with religion, it lead me to ask crucial points about our existence, and "Adam and Eve" didn't add up. "You mean that they were incestuous? They both had 'God' for a father?" ...*silence from the biological sponsor units*

Upon gaining further wisdom and entering elementary education, I received similar resistance.  While being able to read and write before entering first grade, I failed every English and Writing class because I would question sentence structure.  "Why do I need to assemble nouns, verbs, adjectives and adverbs in YOUR way for them to make sense to people?"  It wasn't that my writing was unreadable, as much as it was uncomfortable for them to read "I am, not, because I am."

As my cells developed inside of the cells of cells called the education system, I further absconded and isolated my mind, egress-ion far inside of music, the words of the heart and soul, far frustrated with having my mind force-ably crammed like a square peg into a round hole. I would sit for hours, alone, playing drums by ear with 70's and 80's rock tunes on the classic vinyl headphones which could drown out a D-8 Cat, as well as my mistake rim shots and lost rhythm.

Why?

Through many, many odd coincidences, which I may write about at a later time, I started to realize that besides any creator who thought this up wasn't worth worshiping, that I would eventually have a finished product which may be visible in some form, to someone, somewhere, who may or may not care, and it would be the final puzzle piece to "The Big Picture".

What I hope to gain and give via this blog is simply that...  Parts to a bigger picture which we can assemble together.

-C

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