Monday, June 10, 2013

Can I be so bold as to stop terrorism?

The point of terrorism is to create fear in a populace, therefore if you are trying to create terror the easiest way to do so is to tell Fox News what you are planning so they can warn the country.  You don't even have to actually try to do something!  Maybe you send some patsies with non-functional devices out now and again, but for the most part you can do your entire terrorism mission without actually blowing anything up.  Because in America it is not the actual threat that creates fear, it is the implied threat and the over response that creates fear.

So what do you do about it?

Step one.  Turn off your TV.

Trust me you do not need to be informed about everything that is going on in the world.  I go online and skim through the bbc now and then, but other than that I am good.  There is no reason to watch 24 hour news, even if something big is going on.

Step two.  Remember some of the idioms of terrorism.

One mans terrorist is another man's freedom fighter....  Shit even Osama was on the CIA payrole back in the day.  No, really, he was part of the force in Afghanistan that was fighting the Russians and using terrorist tactics taught by the CIA to help get the Russians out of Afghanistan.  Is there a little irony that the very people that we trained and armed came back later to fight against us.  Yes.

Step three.  Ignore the government warnings.

Unless if there is something really specific, ie "a guy with a bomb at the corner of Lake and Fifth" terrorism should not be a concern of yours because statistically it will not affect you.  Therefore you have no reason to fear it. 

Step four.  Concern yourself with things that are worth concerning yourself over.

Deer ticks and Lymes disease.

Paying off your debts.

Going back to school.

Getting that new job.

Trying Yoga.

Becoming a vegetarian.

Realizing that Water Legacy is full of crap, but the Monsanto protests make perfect sense.


Ste five.  Relax, you have been freed from the burden of terrorism.