Saturday, November 28, 2015

Since I have a free weekend, doing Astronomy!

I made an attempt to view Comet Catalina in the morning sky this morning.  It was cold, it was windy, I was tired and I missed my target.

Alas, at least I figured out what I was doing wrong and made plans to fix the problems by triangulating between a couple of bright objects, along with using a wider lens next time.

I think the Sigma 70-210mm f3.9 manal lens is pretty close to ideal for what I am doing, the manual focus is pretty damn nice and it takes nice pictures, but I just have to start a bit wider on the focus unless I verify that I am seeing what I think I am seeing, which is really damn hard when you are still recovering from the night before trying to take pictures on a windy morning in the 10-15 degree weather along the shore of Lake Superior.

I give myself credit for making it out there, but a fail for missing my designated target.

Oh well, I may try to shoot a few things tonight since I have the whole thing setup.  Maybe try for some nice, dim, hard to see things.  Before I go to bed and set the alarm for two hours before sunrise.

If I ever get myself out in the world and stable I may have to build myself an observatory.  Just sayin.

Here is a picture anyway...
By my estimation my target is one frame above this.

Friday, November 27, 2015

Black Friday adventures - Split Rock

I hate shopping, I hate malls, I have a touch of social anxiety and being surrounded by greedy idiots is not going to make it any better...

Instead of going to the mall I went here instead...

Then I met this character out on the road...

He (guessing I am not a bird person) is an immature Red-Tailed Hawk.

North Shore Bike Trails, a quick visit

Every time I drive up the North Shore of Lake Superior past Two Harbors I see the trails along the side of the road, but I had never had an opportunity to go bike along them.  I finally got that opportunity and took a ride on one of our many anomalously warm fall days.  I did not go as far as I would have liked to, but alas, I at least got out there.
These were the bikes, in the foreground is my 1990 Schwinn Woodlands mountain bike that rides like a dream.  In the background is a newer Schwinn mountain bike that rides like shit.

We found a little cove and ended up looking for agates.

That turned out to be our half way point of the day.  We also need to find a better series of parking areas for the use of the trail.

A Fall hike on Ely's Peak

Ely's peak is in the far western end of Duluth off of the Superior Hiking Trail.  The trails are in great condition but not the best marked.
It was a beautiful fall day and the plants were cool looking in browns and reds.

This is one of the scariest bridges I know.

The picture really does not do justice as much as the "bridge closed" sign that is on one end.

Got to watch a train roll by.

There were a lot of those annoying little Japanese Lady Bugs.

In all reality it is just a small concentration.

The Oliver Bridge is amazing still there, and still viable.

Mont du Lac is the same way, still kicking.

Spirit Island sits alone...

This was the oldest one we found.

Looking down from the top towards the west.

And to the North East.

See, I told you the bridge was closed.

Hiking partner.

Thursday, November 26, 2015

Halloween music walk - American Rebels

My first stop for music on Halloween was RT Quinlin's where I ran into the American Rebels up on stage doing that thing that they do.

It was a very decorated night at good old Quinlin's.

Super Intense Heather was of course, Super Intense...

I just realized why I hate making photo captions so much.

After like three or four photos of a show you start running out of things to talk about.

I guess I will keep babbling though, there are only a few images left.

In all reality I said the important stuff right off the bat.

I got the band name out and that stuff.  I guess I can relax.

Halloween wanderings - The Electric Witch

As I continued my Halloween wanderings the next stop was Pizza Luce where I ran into the Electric Witch on stage doing what they do.

I am not completely positive, but I think there is a little bit of Laura Palmer going on here.

Mary Bue always had an interesting face when she was performing.

She stole my dinosaur!

Thankfully she gave it back though.

Zen and the Art of Squirrel, someone is acting like a turkey.

I enjoy time to myself.  This can even be in the presence of other people, it is just a matter of being able to let my mind wander and shut off all of the inputs that people usually use.

Sometimes people find this a bit disturbing, especially when they wander between wherever it appears I am looking and my eyeballs.  Sometimes they even respond like I am staring at them.  The reality is that I am not even processing the visual aspect mentally.  I am seeing things, but I am completely ignoring them and instead paging through the flipbook in my mind.  Paging back and forth between thought images trying to do some kind of processing, likely at a level that I cannot translate from the image pages to words very well.

I spend a lot of time in my mind playing with the image pages.  It may look like I am looking at whatever is in front of me but if you see m looking straight at what would normally be nothing, especially if my fingers are flipping back and forth, or my leg is tapping, I am really not looking at anything in the real world.  I am strictly working in my mind.

And you have no idea what I am working on!  The reality is usually rather boring, I may be trying to work out some aspect of space-time, pondering how to build something in Minecraft.  I may be thinking of a better way to build a mousetrap.

I could be looking through the photo albums on my computer, because I have a partial photographic memory of what is in there and I do not have to have the computer in front of me to be looking through the albums on the computer.

Thankfully I even have photo albums that are long lost partially stored in this manner.  Nothing is really lost forever, just harder to access.

I go out and I take a lot of pictures, it could take hours to import everything into a program like lightroom and sort through them in the traditional sense.  Instead I do it in my mind and I can prepare what pictures I am going to work with long before I ever bother to look at actually opening a program.

Of course this is sometimes a bit exhausting and I can tire myself out without lifting a finger.  Do you have any idea how much energy it takes to power a human brain?  Compared to electronics it seems like almost no power consumption, but the human brain consumed about 20% of our RMR (Resting metabolic rate).  This is about 260 calories a day, which means that our brain is humming along at about 12.6 watts.  My laptop is using around 40 or 50 watts according to the power box, but I have to guess that is an average consumption and during intensive processing it dives into the battery a little bit.

I would love to look at the amount of processing my brain is doing at any given time.  The daily activities of a human being are very interesting and different ones require differing amounts and kinds of thought.

Driving a car requires certain aspects to be functioning.  Painting, writing, typing, working, flipping through the paged images in my mind.  I wonder what kind of power consumption that produces.  Maybe I am jumping all the way from 12.6 to 13 watts!

I have never been good with peers.  When I was a kid I dealt almost exclusively with adults because I could use the words that I had with them and they could make sense of it.  When I got older I largely skipped pas several developmental steps and skimmed around them.  In retrospect I think that they would have been useful but I was too busy being my own little odd duck to pay attention to what I was missing.

That and I really didn’t care.  I had better things to worry about than social development.

Years later I took a class on interpersonal relationships and it is sickening how much time and consideration neurotypical people spend dealing with relationships.  The professor really did not understand that I had no interest in other people and would much rather die cold and alone that have to deal with interpersonal relationships. 

Interpersonal relationships are messy and confusing.  I offend people on a rather regular basis.  The people around me just have to deal with it.

I have tried in the past to understand how these things work.  I usually shortly give up because people are illogical.

It turns out people don’t like it when you tell them what they are thinking in terms of farm animals.  Sorry, it is often an apt reference that all of us have enough understanding of to make use of.

Ok, it is supposedly going to be dinner time, this means that there is going to be a turkey upstairs somewhere and I should likely make moves out of the basement and be social.  As social as I can, which means I guess I have to leave the farm animal references to a minimum.

Zen and the Art of Squirrel, on updates, hibernation, and relations.

The squirrel has been content lately, I am guessing this has to do with the violent change of the season being largely finished and now settling into a busy time at work and avoiding the chaos of the malls for the umpteenth year in a row.

I may have to actually approach a mall this year, or as I affectionately refer to them, mauls.  I hate shopping, I really don’t need more stuff, and I have plenty.  I would much rather keep the amount of stuff I have to a nice low pile of stuff.  Right now that pile is a little more than I would normally have, but most of it is extemporaneous and I could leave it or store it if need be.

I have been researching new jobs and opportunities out in the world, unfortunately when I am not in an extremely manic state I have issues with change.  I like the comfortable stasis that I am at.  I can change small things in a gradual sense and I am fine with how that works.  I evolve much like a glacier in this sense.  It is who I am, change is hard.

Speaking of changes, ended up in a relationship, it is odd, and I was comfortable in my curmudgeonship up until this point.  It is nice to have someone who has interests in science and cuddling though.  We make each other happy, I am thinking that is really all that matters.

It is approaching winter, and winter is the time for hibernation.  I do not hibernate in the sleep all day, sleep all night sense that people assume for hibernation.  I just spend more time inside in my nice warm basement.  This keeps me in proximity to the fireplace which needs tending on a regular basis, and it also puts me in proximity to my computer which allows me to listen to Pandora and paint.

I like to paint.  I am reasonably good at it.  I think that I could do a lot more with it if I took the time, and someday I think I will actually start taking the time to do so.  My pictures look a little bit like what you would expect out of Bob Ross, and I still have a Bob Ross tee-shirt around here somewhere that an old girlfriend gave to me.  The difference is that my pictures are of actual places and objects.  I use my photography to give me subjects that I can study and then spread some paint in the general sense of as I flitter from task to task through my day.

This last week has been bad for getting things like this done.  There has been car fixing, and cuddling.  I have also been stuck at work an inordinate amount of time for what I have to do, but now I have a four day weekend.  Tomorrow it is free state park day so I am thinking I am going to wander up the shore to see what I can see.

There will be a camera involved, which speaking of which I think I am still about 20 photo albums behind for the year.

I also have to make a serious attempt to put al of the Zen and the Art of Squirrel articles that are more than just random gibberish like this one into something that looks like it could be a book.

Then I start editing.

After that I will do something I love to call “I edited it” just because the word edit shows up twice and I like patterns.

Someday there will be a book, hopefully.  Then there may be another book after that.  If I had more freedom to travel and work I would love to go places just long enough to write a book.  Get a job where a one or two year appointment would be completely acceptable and then do so.  While I am at it, write.  Write prolifically.  Be everything I can be.

Keep the squirrels happy.  They have been happy as of late, not the too happy that makes for uncomfortable moments and bad days coming down the pipe, just the normal mild happy that does not have a flip to it.  I would love to stay here, it is a comfortable place. 

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Double Earthquake in Peru

That was interesting, it was like the double-mint twins of earthquakes in Peru.  Thankfully the two earthquakes that occurred only about 50 km apart were 600 km down in the crust, most likely deformation in the descending plate.

The interesting thing is that these has a couple of characteristics that made them odd.

First they were very large for an Earthquake that deep.  Magnitude 7.6 is a large earthquake, and having a magnitude 7.6 earthquake that deep, although not unheard of, is rare.  Having two earthquakes of the same magnitude five minutes apart is just strange.

Thankfully there was no reported damage or injuries.  Deep quakes have a tendency to be felt over a large area, but do much less damage than an equivalently sized shallow focus earthquake. Even when they occur in pairs separated  by only five minutes.

The final word of all of this?  Well, weirder things have happened.  I just can't think of any off the top of my head.

A Trip to the Moon (1902)

Well, I was looking for a movie where I could rave about everything they got right but I was not going to take the time to watch 2001 a Space Odyssey.  I instead decided to watch the 1902 classic A Trip to the Moon, the restored and recolorized edition.

What did they get right?  

The Earth has a moon.  And Bureaucracy is a big part of human society.

What did they get wrong?

Almost everything.

The launch showed them getting launched out of a cannon, this would have involved the "cannon people" being accelerated to about 25 km/sec in about ONE SECOND.  The G forces on that amount of acceleration would have turned the steel bullet into the cannon into a molten slug, if not a vaporized slug.  I am guessing the humans would not have survived.

Even if they survived the initial acceleration the brief passage through the atmosphere at that speed would have vaporized them, why do you think it is rare that meteorites make it to the surface?

Once they made it to the moon they hit the man in the moon in the eye and then drastically changed scale and all piled out so they could look at the plants on the airless, cold, and hostile to all life moon.

After getting chased off by some natives they simply fell back to the Earth, like, they fell straight down and ended up landing on Earth.  I am sure that the Newtonian laws of physics (which are good enough for non-nano-scale objects not moving near the speed of light) would have some disagreement with that maneuver being pulled off.

If you don't believe me, try it in Kerbal Space Program.

OK, anyway, it was a quick and enjoyable movie, just ridiculous bastardization of science.

Giant TV!

Somehow the family decided that we needed a giant TV for the basement, as a result I now have a giant TV set down in the basement.

I have no idea how I am supposed to deal with this, but, alas...

Giant TV.

To celebrate I am going to watch some movies and write reviews.

After the last one turned into an unreadable drivel I am going to write this review by watching the entire movie and taking notes and then going through my thoughts later.  I am also going to watch a movie that I may be able to find some images to go along with.

The other momentous thing is I am going to watch a movie that does not suck!

So here I am, off to watch a movie.  Wish me luck...

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Homelessness, Part 3, "The end of being homeless... For now".

Now, at the crest of being homeless for 5 months, and being employed for a month, I am looking for a new apartment, and it's tougher than should be.

I suppose most of the issue is doing it with being a previous home owner. Since I no longer have had a rental history, having owned my home for 7 years, I don't have 'renters references'.

The adventure went exactly like this.


1.) Close to work. 1-10 miles, close enough to walk, bike, or bus in less than 30 minutes.
2.) Price. Something less than one-third my monthly income of $2,800 per month, (so about $1,100).
3.) Security. I want to get away from 'shared living spaces', and having a private entrance.
4.) Amenities. Things like "Washer and Dryer, free in unit", "Seasonal Pool", "Gym/ Sauna/ Spa", are common for nearly every apartment complex in the area.
5.) Parking. While I don't currently have a running vehicle, I do intend to get my pickup fixed, and owning another beater or two, besides a motorcycle.

Apartment #1.

I had contacted this apartment last weekend. It fit perfectly into all the categories. A one room studio for $380, with a private bathroom, with a private entrance, and free washer and dryer, with one car parking spot.

I arrived an hour early (due to the Daylight Saving time shift), and was greeted by an asian woman in her mid 20's, with hair to her knees, freckled in acne, and wearing purple pajamas.

From the beginning, there was an obvious language barrier. I had asked 5 times for the deposit amount, and was either ignored or misunderstood.  She said "Just showing", when I asked how much either rent or deposit was.  "Yes, I'll take it today!  I'll pay for it right now!"  "No, just showing?"  "...Yes!  I will take what you're showing me!"...  "No, just showing."  "It's very nice.  May I please pay you to rent this nice apartment."  "No...  Just showing."

Within moments of her "Just Showing", I was joined by a hefty couple of 30 year olds, African (not just 'black', from their language), who immediately turned up their nose without much of a look.  I made eye contact with the young hostess...  "Just showing?"  She smiled at me.  *sigh*

Apartment #2.
Putting all of my eggs into the first basket wasn't the most wise idea, I suppose?  I began to search for other apartments and shared living spaces within a 10 mile area on Craigslist.

I called a telephone number to a promising looking home, again, with a locked private room, shared bathroom and kitchen, and it's own parking space, 4 miles from work. After returning my call a half hour after, we chatted and I told her my situation.  I was an over-the-road truck driver and I owned my home, and I had glaucoma, and I don't currently smoke weed, and I only drink once per month. She invited me over, told me the address, to which I drove the rented truck to.  I arrived to see exactly as I expected, a private home in an upper-to-middle class neighborhood. A 40-something white woman, scarred facially held back a large pit-bull and stuck out a thin hand for me to shake.  I shook it eagerly and told her my name, and offered her to see my I.D., to which I explained that yesterday was my birthday.  She invited me inside, and I pet her dog eagerly, happy to see such a good looking animal.  She showed me the room, and upon seeing it, I opened my wallet to return my I.D. and fish out the thousand in cash which I've had burning a hole in my pocket.

We went on talking, and she showed me the shower and shared kitchen, and I explained my situation, and my intent to buy my own stretch of land, so I could return to smoking weed to attempt to save my eye...  She nodded silently, and said "Well...  this house is a recovery house, and we don't allow drinking or drugs."  I explained "That's fine?  I am a truck driver, and I cannot do those things, anyhow?  I am more than happy to leave for weeks at a time if I want a beer, which will be few and far between, as I typically work 50 hours per week."  ... Again, her face changed, and turned to a scowl. "I don't feel good about this...  Something just doesn't seem 'right'."...  She returned the thousand to my hands.  "Are you a Christian?"  Apparently my answer should NOT have been "No, I'm a proud Atheist."  .... She points a finger, "Please leave my home?  NOW?"  *sigh*

Apartment #3.

This one is 5 miles from work, and "Transitional housing".  No parking. ...Jeeze, I don't even want to stay here for 15 minutes, let alone 6 months?  Cars on the lawn, one without a door. $600 per month?  Plus Utilities?  I waited 15 minutes for the manager...  which turned into 30...  I called on the phone... another 30 minutes goes by...  Nothing.  I called the manager again.  "Sorry, guy?" ("Don't fucking call me 'guy', buddy?") "I'll be there in a half hour...  Seahawks are playing the Cowboys".

"Don't bother." ~CLICK~

Apartment #4.

This is the most viable candidate, now...  at 10 miles away, $500 plus $300 deposit, shared with 2 students, and $100 a month for utilities.

I accepted the fourth apartment.  I moved in the 3rd of November, and now, 2 weeks later, I'm regretting it.

The students are more than dirty...  They are completely filthy.

I want to go on a 10 page rant over just how disgusting they are, but really, it's just a lost cause, as I'm older than the two of them put together...  They are obviously away from their mothers whom have done all of their cleaning for their entire lives.


Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Can't Escape WolframAlpha

How fast does sound travel in chloroform?
3553 km/h  (kilometers per hour)  (at 25 °C  (degrees Celsius))
1, 2, 3, 2, 1, 2, 3, 2, 1, ...
a_n = (n^3+2 n^2+2) mod 4 (for all terms given)

orbital period of the moon27.322 days

No seriously this is starting to be a problem.

permeability of vacuum(pi N)/(2500000 A^2) (A: ampere; N: newton)

movies starring Kevin Bacon and Tom CruiseA Few Good Men

van der Waals gasEquation of State:

(p+(n^2 a)/V^2) (V-n b) = n R T

Internal Energy:
U = 1/2 f n R T-(n^2 a)/V

Isobaric heat capacity:
C_p = (f/2+1/(1-(2 n a (V-n b)^2)/(R T V^3))) n R

Isochoric heat capacity:
C_V = f/2 n R
I can't figure out how to stop. I liked that one with the number sequence. What about the sequence of Fibonacci numbers? That is a good one.

sequence in which each term is the sum of the two previous terms with F_0 = 0, F_1 = 1, F_n = F_(n-1)+F_(n-2)

0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, 144, 233, 377, 610, 987, 1597, ...
If the sequence is based on the sum of the previous two terms than why doesn't it just stop at 0? 0+0=0
0, 0, 0, 0, 0
Where does the 1 come from?

10.0 Earthquake, our first horrible movie.

Just to give you a preview of the horror, here is a preview!

I was looking for more from this movie but apparently google does not want to admit it exists.

Starting with the playing of Jenga is the first inaccuracy of the movie.  The Jenga game is interrupted by vertical shaking in the room.  Of course everyone knows that vertical shaking is caused by S-waves and not the P-waves which are the first to arrive.

The amount of ground deformation shown in the first scene would be indicative of about a magnitude 7+ earthquake.

The fracking outfit punctured the crust, that is only inaccurate by an order of magnitude or two, maybe two and a half.

Ok, geologists crunching numbers on paper?  Get real, we do all of our crunching in Excel or similar program.

You can't tell if it is a pre-shock or an after-shock until later.  Tis the nature of earthquakes.

USGS jobs are actually really good jobs, and they do a lot more than just sit around waiting for earthquakes.

Um, 300 sensors do not output onto paper.  They all go to computer, did the guys who wrote this movie do any homework?

The nature of earthquakes is that you feel them across a wide area.  You do not get isolated events.

Especially magnitude 7 events that you can't feel away from the immediate area.

To get even worse they are talking about magnitude 2.1 events.  A magnitude 2.1 event has shaking measured in micrometers.  Micrometers are not visible.

The shaking trees completely disobeyed the laws of physics, you would need to have events at a specific angle and also with a frequency matching the resonate frequency of the trees,  also all the trees would have to ave the same resonate frequency as one another to all be effected as shown.

Actually being underground is safer because the whole earth shakes together.

You don't get tiny localized earthquakes.

OK the 10.0 earthquake just got mentioned.  Earthquakes are measured on a logarithmic scale, 10.0 is a level that cannot happen due to the limitations of the strength of rock.  The energy that it took to get a 9.5 earthquake, Chile 1960, was the breaking of hundreds of miles of strike slip fault and there were several minutes of shaking.

Ok, insects can detect earthquake signs.  That part is the truth.

If you have a disaster and an employee is killed the operation stops, there is no, oh well, carry on, it will be ok to ignore this.

The wife in the kitchen goes to a doorway, that is the correct thing to do.

Sinkholes have to have something to sink into.  You cannot sink into the solid ground, just like you cannot have cracks open up unless the cracks have something to open up along.  You need ground deformation to cause things like that.

The stupid scenes in this movie are so predictable it is embarrassing.

Once again, sinkholes need something to sink into.

Oh yeah, windshields don't break like that.  Windshields in cars have a layer of plastic in them so that they do not break apart and spray all over the car.

Ok, the falling car was a good shot, the way they balanced it was absurd.  The act of getting out of the car wold have caused it to tip over the edge.

Oh for fucks sake, USGS has proper lines of communication.

Power failures wont effect laptops.

Ok, the ranger station would be on the road, ranger's drive too.

Rock does not break like that.  You do not get little pieces popping out of non-existent pores like dust shooting out of an orange and then the whole things collapses.

Dogs do align themselves with the earths magnetic fields.  That was correct.

Going deeper does not get you more oil.  Oil gets stuck in traps as it floats.  Also the temperature gradient for the Earth is about 25 degrees C per kilometer.  The shallow well was at 20 km, which would put the temperature at 500 degrees C, the lower well was at 35, which would have been 875 degrees C.  At neither of these depths can oil exist, it will all breakdown into methane, or even further into hydrogen and carbon.

As a matter of comparison, Deepwater Horizon went down 7km, and that is about as deep as anyone has tried.

The Kola deep hole was about 8km, this is abot as deep as you can go because the drills do not work once you get down that deep as the rock is too hot and the drills overheat.

Oil shale at 35 miles?  Nope, can't do it.  That is into the range of metamorphic rock.

Battery charging with body heat?  No.  You can enhance an existing charge as a warm battery hold more charge than a cold battery, but for fucks sake, no.

Derrick deserves to die, I feel nothing.

Ok, saving LA isn't a good cause.

Fracking does not really work that way.

OK, the geeky kid with the fault joke, he could make a good geologist.

Ball valves don't snap shut.  That is why you use ball valves.

Nice roll out of the tunnel, that was dramatic.

The tower falling would not cause an explosion.

This movie had only one redeeming quality, and it wasn't even the cave with the paper mache stalactites moving around independently of the cave ceiling in a dry cave complex where they could not form.

It was the dog arranging itself to poop.

That was the sole redeeming quality of the whole movie.

Fun with WolframAlpha

Do you ever just go to and hit the random button? My first 5 results are below. Note I only selected a small part of each output that I thought was particularly interesting.

1) Query: absorption coefficient of sound moist air at 30C and 20% and 6000ft

5000 Hz:
absorption coefficient | 68.87 dB spl/km (decibels sound pressure level per kilometer) | = 110.8 dB spl/mi (decibels sound pressure level per mile) (from ISO 9613-1: 1993 Acoustics-Attenuation of sound during propagation outdoors)

10,000 Hz:
absorption coefficient | 240.6 dB spl/km (decibels sound pressure level per kilometer) | = 387.3 dB spl/mi (decibels sound pressure level per mile) (from ISO 9613-1: 1993 Acoustics-Attenuation of sound during propagation outdoors) sound during propagation outdoors)
2) Query: C, Eb

3) Query: probability of winning at craps
0.4929 ~~ 1 in 2

come-out roll | result | probability | probability of winning
2 | craps  (loss) | 1/36 | 0
3 | craps  (loss) | 1/18 | 0
4 | set point to 4 | 1/12 | 1/3
5 | set point to 5 | 1/9 | 2/5
6 | set point to 6 | 5/36 | 5/11
4) Query: 10 megaton nuclear explosion

nuclear explosion |  
yield | 10 megatons of TNT

height of cloud top | 18 miles
height of cloud bottom | 12 miles
radius of cloud | 23 miles
fireball duration | 13 seconds
air blast radius (near-total fatalities) | 3.6 miles
ionizing radiation radius (500 rem) | 3 miles
air blast radius (widespread destruction) | 9.6 miles
(assuming optimum burst height;
 fireball duration is based on 10% of peak emission intensity)
5) Query: range of e^(-x^2)

So that's WolframAlpha. It is really fun to play with and I highly recommend playing with it. It even let's you do silly things like look up the parametric equation for a taco curve. My only problem with the site is that it constantly bugs you to get a pro membership. Without one you do not have access to a lot of features but the functionality that is accessible for free is still really fun.

Monday, November 16, 2015

Confessions of an Illicit Curler

It was a rainy November night. The fog had cleared and the rain was down to a persistent drizzle. I pulled in to the parking lot, driving straight past the toll booth. Under cover of darkness I pulled into a secluded parking spot and, wrapping my hood around my face, walked carefully towards the door. After I got through the first set of doors I composed myself, walking confidently into the next room.

"What team do you play for?"
"The Surface Tensions?"
"Who is that? Borzutzky? Does that sound right?"
"Sure, that's it" I flashed him a quick smile. I was sure I had never met a Borzutzky in my life. A second man asked to see my driver's license. He glanced at it quickly and put a yellow band around my left wrist. I knew I wasn't going to need it, not tonight. I smiled and walked to my teammates' table and listened to them talk about upcoming tests and group projects.

It was a cold night on the ice. The ice was patchy and rough and both teams had trouble adapting to the conditions. Halfway through the game it happened. A man in an official looking brown sweater appeared behind me as I set up to throw another stone.

"I heard there was an ineligible player." He moved closer to me. I could feel the heat coming off his hand as it hovered near my shoulder. "This one. I got a lot of email complaints." I froze. My teammates were on the other side of the sheet waiting for my throw. The only people near me were two of my opponents. Luckily, they both laughed. "Well obviously; she's so good." I laughed too. I hadn't made a single good throw all night. "Yeah, I'm pretty much a professional." The man laughed and walked away.

I'm still not sure who the man was. Maybe he was one of our opponents from last week messing with me. All I know is that I need to be more careful to hide my identity in the future. I need to blend in if I am going to complete my mission successfully.

Some back of the envelope calculations....

In the last year 156 objects floating through space came within 5ld of Earth.  So if we look at this in a simplified 2 dimensional sense if we have a dart board 5ld in radius with the Earth at the center, that dart board got hit 156 times.

The total area of the dart board is:

5ld squared pi, converted to square miles....

1.25 million squared pi


~5 e12 square miles.

the area of the earth disk in the center would be

4,000 miles squared pi

or 5 e7 square miles

By these calculations we know of an object that should hit us about 1 in 100000 years.  Since we know that the Earth gits hit by shit more often than that we have a lot of work to do on our space program.

I have been making a list of lousy movies.

I know, why would I make a list of lousy movies?  Even more so, why would I put them in my Netflix cue?

To review them of course!  And to insult their horrific misunderstandings of science.

And of course congratulate them when by a stroke of blind luck they get something right.

But on with the plan!  The weather is going to be lousy tomorrow, like cold, windy, and with an inch or rain lousy.  This is the perfect day upon my return from the day job to sit on a couch and peruse lousy movies.  As a result that is exactly what I am going to do.

The results of these lousy movie escapades are of course going to make their way here.

Sounds like fun, doesn't it?

Sunday, November 15, 2015

My new Terrorism Rant

I am not a big fan of terrorism.  I do not think it is an effective way to get a message out and it is just causing fear for the purpose of inciting fear.  I also think that our current political and news cycle is what makes it so effective as a weapon.

With every attack terrorism is thrown up into our faces as part of the 24 hour news cycle with "live on the ground reports" and "instant news" from around the world telling us every gory detail and inciting as much fear of the people inciting the terrorism as possible.

This is, or course, exactly what the terrorists want.  If we could just shut the news off an ignore it then the terrorism would not be effective.  Because we blow it completely out of proportion and make EVERYONE AFRAID that this will be coming TO YOUR TOWN NEXT it does exactly what the terrorists want.

The purpose of terrorism is by definition to incite a feeling of fear into a population.  This is why you cannot have a war of terrorism, it simply cannot work.  You are fighting a concept.  The reason that terrorism works is that it makes people think that "this can happen anywhere, at any time and we should always be on edge".

I am not afraid.

No matter how many times our leaders try to tell us that we should always be vigilant and that we should always take care I realize that there are many thing far more likely to kill me than terrorism.


Bathtubs kill more people in the US than terrorism.

Worldwide Heart disease kills more people that terrorism, by a HUGE margin.

Where is our war on butter?

If you look at the figures terrorism is not in the top ten.

If we would just learn to ignore terrorism than we could ruin its effectiveness as a weapon.  Quietly go about the business of hunting the perpetrators down like rabid dogs and go about our business.

Very odd dream

For some reason last night I had a dream that I somehow or another ended up with a pet rabbit and a pet turtle.  They just moved in with me.  The turtle also had an indent it its shell from having something wrapped around it.

It was very odd.

Debunking the #PrayForWorld bullshit meme

I ran into this meme on Facecrack earlier.

On Friday the 13th of Nvember 2015

In one day

Paris - Suicide attacks
Japan - Earthquake
Baghdad - Funeral bombing
Beirut - Suicide Bombing
Mexico - Earthquake

24 hours and we lost 115200 heartbeats...

Ok, lets start looking at these events

Paris - Suicide attacks (horrible event, and also teh only one not overblown)
129 killed
Japan Earthquake - Off shore, no damage
0 killed
Baghdad Funeral Bombing
19 killed
Beirut - Suicide bombimg
43 killed
Mexico Earhquake
Very small, no damage
0 killed

Ok, we have a slight miscommunicatio here, you say 115,200 heartbeats and I am only seeing 191 deaths....

I was thinking that maybe you meant the total number of heartbeats lost but a human heart at 60 bpm beats 86400 times a day.

I have no idea where they got these numbers.

OK, but lets look at the reality of death in the world. 150,000 people die every day, day in, day out.  135,000 of these are because they are old.

Terrorism is horrible, but get over it.  If we were not so horribly effected by terrorism it would no longer be an effective means to attack us.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Finally, snow!

We are finally getting a wee bit of snow.  It has been a long time since I saw white fluffy shit flying through the air.  I had completely forgotten that driving in big snowflakes gives me a feeling of floating in the air just above the road that is not entirely pleasant.

Well I am going to grab the camera and the show lens and head off to go see if I can get in the door at the TKK concert.  Hopefully they are not completely at capacity.  I guess we will see.

I also made a run up the hill today and stocked up on canvasses.  They were on sale, it made me happy. The pricing at that place was really strange.  One canvas was $13.99, but a five pack was $12.99...  Go figure.

Anyway, I am off to see the wizard, and maybe take some pictures of him.  I will have to grab my extra battery tonight.

WT1190F to strike Earth!

And it will do....

Almost nothing.

Presuming that any part of it even survives making it through the atmosphere, which is iffy at best.

WF1190F or WTF1190?  You decide.

I do wish it were coming into the atmosphere near me on a clear night though, the burn up of an object in the 1-2 meter range would be really impressive to see.

Sunday, November 8, 2015

Its got a little ways to go before it looks like what it is supposed to look like.

I said I was going to do some painting this weekend, and I have done a little.  I ended up cutting a little more firewood and doing a little more work in the yard than I had originally planned.  It happens.

Anyway, here is the next one.  I am just getting started.

As you can see the bay water is a touch brown, as it should be, there are a lot of clays and tannins in there.  I have not started working on the sailboat at all, although it is drawn in.  I still have a lot of work to do on the horizon, and there may be some happy little clouds in its future, tough to say.  The sails are going to be a heap of work as they have to end up mostly white, with just a few shadows.  I think I may need some more titanium white.

It was pointed out to me that some aspects of my format were ugly.

I agreed, I worked to fix a few aspects of that I thought would make it look and feel better.

I hope you enjoy.

Saturday, November 7, 2015

Painting like a mildly manic freak of nature.

Not bad manic, just listening to Pandora and in a good mood manic, I have two canvases in play at any given time, I work on one until I need to take a break then I switch to another, back and forth until they are both finished to my satisfaction.  Since I finished the Shiprock painting and I still have a lot of work to do on Aurora 2 I decided to start the sailboat picture.  I have another ship picture in mind but I have to find the photo I took about 25 years ago to work on that one.

But yeah, work, work, work....

I am going to get some happiness out of this if it hurts me...

I have been painting again, Shiprock, NM

A couple of years ago I visited Shiprock, New Mexico, it was a really cool thing to see and I took a bunch of photographs that I am gradually turning into paintings.
Here is a sample, I am not done yet...

OK, I did a few of those things I said I was going to do...

I am thinking this is pretty close to how it is going to end up.

Who am I, redux

There was discussion last night about the question of who I am.  The reality that seems to have been the conclusion of the conversation is that I am not narrow enough to be defined by any one thing.  I am spread far and my mind wanders and scatter too much to settle into one path.  This of course causes some issues with my goal of finding a singular voice, but it also frees me as I no longer have to quest for one.

Good, bad, neutral?

You decide, I am going to go play with the squirrel for a while.

Get your mind out of the gutter, it is a mental squirrel.

Friday, November 6, 2015

Zen and the Art of Squirrel - Who am I?

The squirrel is satisfied right now.  Satisfied, satiated, however it works.  It turns out I have been missing out on a lot of things that I used to do that I have been ignoring in an attempt to be studious and adult like.

I can adult, I don’t like it though.

I want to make art; I want to write stories that are only outwardly about squirrels.

The squirrel is in my head and in my heart.  The squirrel is the restless spirit inside of me that needs to be expressed to be satisfied.

I currently have two paintings in process and I am thinking about getting a second job for the purpose of buying more art supplies.  I have been threatening to have an art show for a long time, I worry that I have not found my voice in art yet.  I have not found what makes what I do different from what everyone else does.

Going to be thinking about that this weekend.  I have two out of three of my days off left, today was supposed to be a day off but it was interrupted by a broken coffee roaster.

I have useful skills, turns out that the exhaust motor had died after only 15 or so years of use.  Unfortunately when the cowboy that assembled the thing put it together he made no consideration of someone eventually having to change the motor out.

There was a cold chisel involved.

The roaster is working again now, it took me three hours to determine that the motor was the actual problem, and change the thing out. 

I am pondering how many hours they are going to let me write down for that one, I used to get “repair” rates for doing that kind of thing.

But anyway, I am painting again.  I used to paint and I enjoyed it, but I was trying to find my voice and nothing seemed to fit right.  Since the last time I picked up a brush I got a BS in Geology and now I am looking at the rocks in the pictures completely differently.  I am looking at the strata.  I am looking at a picture of Shiprock in New Mexico and instead of looking at the colors of the rocks as I try to duplicate I am looking at what the rocks are.  I am pondering the sanidines in the rocks themselves.  I am wondering how those radial dikes looked when they were forming thirty million years ago.

I look at pictures of auroras and I ponder what kind of torture the magnetosphere was going through at that moment that allowed that amount of ionizing energy to make it through the Van Allen radiation belts and into the ionosphere.

I may not adult well, but I can geek like no ones business.

It is amazing how slowly oil paints “dry” I use dry because they really don’t dry in the traditional sense of dry.  They gradually desiccate of oils and stabilize.  Even years from now you add a little linseed oil and you will still be able to move those aspect of the painting that you don’t like around a little bit.

Maybe fix some cracking or crazing from the picture not getting sealed properly.  Speaking of which, you let the picture “dry” for six months, maybe less if I have it near the woodstove, and then seal it with a clear varnish.   You have to let it seal for a long time though, because otherwise the act of varnishing will be enough to smear the image.

Acrylics are not as subject to these problems, oils are where the problems become really evident.

So I was pondering getting a second job for the holidays, a little extra cash, and maybe a discount on some supplies that I could use.  I should be a shoe-in for a temp position, college degree and all of that stuff.  If I can get a degree in geology I should be able to move items through a cash register.

The black base layer is almost dry now.  I want to do one more aurora as I am putting together Christmas presents for people, along with looking for my voice.

What is it I say with my painting?

I am really curious to find out who I am.

It is something that I would really like to know.

Truthfully, once I find out who I am it will make it much easier to continue to be that person.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Remember, remember, observations on Guy Fawkes Night

Remember remember, the fifth of November…
The gunpowder treason and plot.
I see no reason,
Why the gunpowder treason,
Should ever be forgot.

There are more lines to this folk poem, but it all diverges to foppery and gibberish after the beginning and only really makes sense if you are both British and a few centuries old.

It is the 5th of November though, and it is time for a bit of a reflection, not to mention a bit of introspection on the somewhat absurd usage of Guy Fawkes image in modern times.

A bit of history.  Guy (Guido) Fawkes was an English Catholic who after fighting for Spain in the 80 years war came back to England.  Back in Jolly old England King James was on the throne, much to the Chagrin of Fawkes (and his conspirators) James was a Protestant and not a Catholic, therefore Fawkes and his conspirators decided to blow up parliament in order to kill King James and replace him with his daughter.

This makes it sound like Fawkes was in charge of the whole deal, but in reality he was the guy who got the short straw and the job of guarding the gunpowder so that at the appointed time when the delayed parliamentary proceedings finally commenced, they could blow all of parliament into the stratosphere.

There are a considerable number of problems with this, gunpowder in kegs is not the most effective explosive, and untamped explosion on the underside of the parliament building would put as much of its force out the front of the apartment they had rented as it would put up and into the house of parliament. 

Certainly a few people would have been killed, but it would not have sent the entirety of parliament into space, and only with a lucky shot would it have killed the king.

Although it would have been mighty exciting.

Let us now jump ahead four hundred years.

A comic book was written and then turned into a movie with a terrorist in a Guy Fawkes mask fighting back against a fascist regime in Great Britain in the modern era.  I am not going to slam the comic or the movie, I am actually going to be scanning Netflix for the movie tonight, but what happened next is the interesting part.

Guy Fawkes became the symbol of any fight against fascist regimes, this also coincided with the United States Government being declared a fascist regime, which although it has a lot of characteristics in common with, we do not have a dictator with absolute power.  We still have most of our freedom of speech, and I am more concerned about a corporarocracy where, especially after the disastrous Citizen’s United decision corporate powers have more power than the people.

But back to our theme here, the wholesome religious intolerance of Guy Fawkes Night has been converted into a symbol of resistance against fascism, and now has been adopted by the group Anonymous as a symbol of the faceless hackers working diligently to uncover the activities of the shadowy world of corporations and governments.

This is a bit of a change, and although I have to applaud some of the actions that Anonymous has takes, especially in their take down of child pornography rings and such, some of their activities are a bit heavy handed and misguided.

Tonight I am going to see if Netflix has what I am looking for, and perhaps even blast off some fireworks in the yard.  I am not going to protest against the Protestant king though, especially to replace him with a Catholic king, who in my opinion would be just as bad, only a different face.

I am not sure if Anonymous has our best interests in its sights, or really if they have any interests at all, the nature of a decentralized group is that the actions of the many can be chaotic at best.  The original attack on Parliament in 1605 was a rapier strike at the king.  The Anonymous of today is more of a pillow over the face.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

October is the worst, but not as bad as the server at work

October is the worst of the months.  The sun keeps rising later and later and setting earlier and earlier.  By the end of the month the sun does not rise until after I go to work, which makes getting up a difficult thing to accomplish.

I think I would like hibernation.

Thankfully Daylight Savings Time comes to a violent end at the end of the month.

In November the days are still getting shorter, but not as rapidly.  The result of this is that although the sun rises later every morning, and sets earlier every night the change is not as drastic.

The change of the clocks is a wonderful thing though.  Suddenly instead of waking up an hour and a half before the sun peeks above the horizon I am rising with the sun again.  By December 21st the days will have gotten shorter again and I will have to deal with the sun going down at a ridiculously early hour every day, but theoretically there will be snow.

The snow reflects a much greater amount of the limited amount of light will we have and make it feel brighter even if the sun is not nearly as high or as persistent.

Snow makes the world seem brighter.

I blame albedo.

I think there should be a study on the level of education that someone has compared to the number of words they use that bother spell check.

I spent yesterday emailing back and forth about the asbestaform qualities of grunerite, or lack thereof.  I thought spell check was going to have a stroke.

Right now I am sitting here waiting for it to decide that it needs to dump some snow on us.  I could go for snow, I have to admit that I really like driving in it.

I’m weird, I know.  It is the nature of the beast I guess.

Well, it looks like the network where we have our work system hosted has detonated again, I will work on this for a bit as I cannot even log in to do anything else.  Thankfully since I pilfered the large monitor from the desk of a former employee I can now monitor my log in, the help system, and work on this at the same time.

It looks to me like the DNS server on their end has shat thy bed.  I am guessing that if they looked at the system load they would find there are massive temporary files floating around in memory (waiting to never make it to disk where they could be retrieved and parsed) but if they traced which process was creating the temp file it would lead them to where the problem is in the system.

One way or another the work system will not let me log in to it at all.  Or maybe it is obscenely slow.  One way or another it is not working.

OK, it worked well enough (barely) to get my work done.

When I say barely I think it took twenty minutes to log in and then it kicked me out fifteen minutes later.

BREAK!  Add 24 hours in here….

I have no idea what is going on with the server at work.  It was crap yesterday, crap the day before, today it worked fine.


Take a chance on me....

In the eternal words of Abba, which is a statement I never thought I would say…

Honey I'm still free
Take a chance on me
Gonna do my very best and it ain't no lie
If you put me to the test, if you let me try

I am still on the hunt for one of those super awesome jobs, you know the ones.  Those jobs where you get paychecks and a schedule.

Not to say that I am not currently working, but I am still churning along at part time and with a “here until I am done” schedule.

Makes it hard to make plans for the future when I do not know what my financial future holds from week to week.  Although I do a good job of conserving my resources so I am not struggling from week to week.

But it would be nice if someone could.

Take a chance, take a chance, take a chance on me….

I promise I will keep the singing to a minimum. 

I have been continuing the eternal job search, looking at different businesses and sending out resumes to various places, actually, around the world.

Ideally I want to do something that has some relation with climate change, although I am looking at some loose relations.  Helping a municipality deal with climate change qualifies. 

Oh well, I have a lot of time to kill, and no time like the present to get started at that task…

The West Lake Landfill fire, another case of exaggeration?

I was on my way to work this morning when a story came on the air about the West Lake Landfill fire and the risk of radioactive pollution release as a result.  The story itself was trying to explain the risks were not as high as some people would like to believe, but I wanted to do some reading of my own, as well as looking at the chemistry of the problem for myself.

The West Lake Landfill is a landfill outside of St. Louis, Missouri that is in the hole left over from a former limestone quarry.  It was then over time filled with the assorted detritus of humanity including, at some point in the 1970’s, some radioactive crud mixed with dirt left over from the cold war.

About five years ago an underground “fire” started.  I am using fire in quotes because what is actually occurring is that the methane being produced by the decomposition of the biologic materials in the landfill is breaking down into carbon monoxide and hydrogen in a chemical reaction at an elevated temperature.  If it was near the surface where it would have ready supplies of oxygen it could flare up, much as a compost pile can ignite if left untended, but thankfully, for the most part the fire is far underground.

First let’s take a look at the radioactive crud that someone decided to dump in the facility.  After the cold war and the absurd buildup of uranium based weapons hence, there was a large amount of radioactive material that was leftover in barrels which was sold at a public sale (no I am not making this up).  The material was in four grades, the least concentrated being leached barium sulfate cake.  The leached barium sulfate cake was considered to be below the uranium concentration that could be efficiently leached further to get anything of value out of, and was eventually mixed with clay and dumped on site.

So now we have a bunch of uranium dumped on site, OMG!  We are all going to die!

No, hold the phone.  The concentration of the uranium in the material after leaching and mixing with topsoil (not to mention that it was then mixed with the normal waste being dumped on-site), the concentration of uranium left in the soil is about 150ppm.  This is only an order of magnitude about the concentration commonly found in granite, and some granite commonly have uranium concentrations as high as ~50 ppm. 

Now let’s look at the fire.  First thing is that calling it a fire is not really an accurate description.  Calling this a fire is as accurate as saying your rusting car is on fire.  There is an oxidation reaction occurring within the heap that is converting methane into hydrogen and carbon monoxide.  The elevated temperatures that it is creating down in the heap are in the area that they would be hot to the touch, but not likely to seriously burn you.

The likely source of the fire is actually the methane gas extraction, as if they pull too much vacuum on the methane extraction it will pull an excess of oxygen down into the heap and start a reaction.

So what do we do!  We have to do something!

Well, not really.  Disturbing the mass will introduce more oxygen and give more fuel to the smolder.  Over time the pile will eventually run out of fuel.  If the heap is properly capped we can also prevent the oxygen it needs to keep “burning” from getting down into the pile. 

But what if the “fire” reaches the radioactive waste!  Won’t that turn St. Louis into the next Chernobyl?

No.  It won’t.

The concentrations of radioactive materials are too low, the fire is actually moving in the wrong direction, and even if it did reach the area where the radioactive waste is stored, the fact the waste was mixed with soil and is not just straight garbage would likely prevent the fire from penetrating into that part of the heap.

But what if the fire reaches the surface?  Could it then burn across the surface and raise all kinds of havoc?

It will raise all kinds of havoc, although mostly from the burning of the plastic cover as has happened in the past. 

But what can we do to prevent this?

Simple, don’t be such wasteful slobs.  Recycle, reuse, and don’t buy disposable shit from Wal-Mart.  Stop having hordes of not-very-bright children. 

Taking back control of my life. Step 1: Diet and exercise.

For the last few months I have been a sleep walker. An observer in my own life. I made hard decisions but at the same time I was just following my impulses. I have become detached from reality, dangerously so. It is time to take back my life. The first step has to be taking care of myself physically. The health of the brain depends on the health of the body. The brain is part of the body after all.

Once upon a time I was in shape. I was involved in a lot of physical fitness activities and I made the most of them. I made active decisions about my food choices and ate a balanced diet. Lately I have been eating entirely on impulse. To be honest, I don’t even particularly like eating most of the time. Eating is just something I have to do. I often skip lunch and sometimes breakfast. When I have to eat I eat whatever is easy and convenient. Most of the last few weeks I have gone out to eat most every night. A lot of that was because I didn’t feel safe going home but that is hopefully changing.

I can’t do this anymore. I need to fuel myself with things that make me feel good, not just in an instant gratification sort of way. I don’t like tracking calories for the sake of counting calories especially since healthy food choices are far more than that. But I do enjoy using an online food/exercise tracker (I like livestrong) because at least then I am mindful of what is going into my body.

At my last job there was a fitness competition. It wasn’t just one of those “who can lose the most weight?” kinds of contests which aren’t very fair or even necessarily indicative of positive lifestyle choices. Oh no. These were all engineers and scientists so it was a much better designed system. Many factors determined your score: % weight lost (based on your initial weight), % body fat, losing or gaining inches in your upper arms, thighs, and pectorals, or just losing inches around the waist line. This was all counted by the quarter inch by the way. I got really into this competition. Everyone put in cash and whoever won got the pot. Maybe the top 3 got something? I didn’t really go in with the intention of winning, and in fact I didn’t. But I made a lot of healthy changes in my life. I discovered a lot of fitness opportunities in my area (my favorite was krav maga. Also, I know some krav maga) and I was mindful of my food choices. I mostly didn’t lose weight but I did get slim and much stronger. I also upped my lung capacity by a fair amount.

And then I got laid off. I had to watch my money very, very carefully. I wasn’t surrounded by people who supported my healthy lifestyle. I ate a lot of comfort food. The results were pretty predictable. Then I got accepted to grad school and moved a few states over. There is a lot of beautiful nature around so I met people and went on walks. Soon I discovered this thing called roller derby that forced me into a regular exercise schedule. Things with that went well for a while but then I hurt my knee. Without derby I lost a lot of my drive to exercise. The knee injury also made some of my favorite exercises (like steep hiking) difficult. I had surgery to fix it but it didn’t work. So I have to get surgery again… I was on the way to getting that done when a few things happened. Suddenly my work schedule was very busy. My insurance changed so I had to change surgeons. I put off the surgery. I started to realize something though. My opposite ankle was starting to hurt. A lot. I was putting a lot of stress on it to compensate for my knee. Also my clothes stopped fitting me. That was the final straw. I need to get back in shape. I have taken steps to actually schedule that surgery.

Plan to get back in shape:
1) I found a hiking buddy. Actually a couple of them. I should try to take further advantage of them.

2) I need to eat better. When I have my own place again I get to have complete control over what food is kept in the house.

3) Start tracking my intake and exercise again.

4) Walking at least 10K steps a day. Which really is around 5 miles. Very doable but I won't get there without going out of my way. What is really cool is that my current employer incentivizes healthy choices. There is a points system. You can get points for certain healthy activities and if you get 400 points you get $400 off your insurance premium for the next year. Walking 10K a day for a month is worth a fair number of points and they send you a free pedometer.

5) I have joined an upper body strength training class that happens in my workplace once a week for an hour. I went yesterday and it kicked my ass. Roller derby is a leg based activity so my upper body strength hasn’t been great for a while. Post-knee surgery I will join the leg strength class as well.

6) Find a gym buddy/ accountability partner who will make sure I actually do the things I say I will. Also, going to the gym is really boring but it is probably a good idea for me right now.

7) Rejoin local fitness activities. This will work a lot better post knee surgery. I did Crossfit for a month but I couldn’t afford to keep it up. I make more money now so maybe it will be more feasible. They now offer local krav maga classes but I don’t want to do that until after surgery either. Getting back into roller derby will also be good for me, again, post-surgery.

There is probably other stuff but I need to hit it hard while I have a lot of motivation so that by the time the motivation fades I will already have made it a habit. One of the ladies in roller derby says that everyone has their own derby superpower. For some people it is speed or strong hits or good pack awareness. My strength has always been my perseverance. When I am hit down I get back up and charge the pack again. And again. And again. I don’t give up. And I won’t give up this time either.

I'll go fighting nail and teeth
You've never seen such perseverance
Going to make you scared of me...